The "Baby Question"

After I had my first baby, I remember sitting up all night in the hospital staring at him.  The room was dark, and the only light was from the moon outside my window.  I was in awe of this tiny person.  So perfect.  So precious.  I couldn't believe he was mine.  Mine to dress, mine to feed, mine to hold, mine to protect and guide for the next umpteenth years.

Of course Hubby was welcome to help too.

When Hubby arrived at the hospital the next morning, I told him we had to do it again.  I wanted another one.  I was completely in love with motherhood and my new baby.  He looked at me like I was the insane person I am and asked if we could wait a few years.

I hesitantly agreed that it might be a good idea to leave the hospital first.

My mother had six children, and I remember asking her often about being a parent.  When I first learned how babies are born I immediately went to her and wanted to know how badly it hurt.  Was she nuts?  How could she ever have six of us that way?

She told me that if it hurt that bad no one would have more than one.  She also said that once you are holding your baby you don't remember all that pain...until you are pregnant again.

She was right. 

I asked her if she really wanted six kids.  It was so much work.  She was up and dressed before any of us woke and she was always the last one to bed.  She was on call 24 hours out of the day, bringing sick kids medicine and tending to bad dreams.  Did she really want six kids?  Why? 

She told me my dad wanted eight, and that she loved having babies.  She called it "fun."  She likened it to a science experiment, saying you never get the same one twice.  Which amazed her, because there were so many possible combinations. 

Let me pause here and clarify my parents were very comfortable with a home, and money for food and clothes.  I don't want to paint a picture of "the Octomom" here.

But, now that I have four kids, I understand what my mom was saying.  Babies are fun.  They are innocent and they smell good.  Their skin is soft and they are fun to dress.  They are the best snugglers and they want nothing other than rest and a good meal.

A good burp helps too.  And a clean tush.

The trouble with babies is that they cost money.  And as they grow up, they have more needs.  And everything costs more money.  And sometimes I feel like I need to duplicate myself in order to be with two of them at once.  Or be two places at once.  Life gets hectic and the more babies to you have, the more hectic it is. 

There is also very little time for anything other than being a Mommy.

But it is also fun.  There are more laughs, more hugs and more memories.  There is more news at the dinner table and more friends living under one roof.  Kids keep life interesting.  They marvel at simple things such a Christmas lights, and they love to swim.  And run in sprinklers.  They play board games and imagine they are Mario and Luigi.

I've come to accept I will never not want another baby.  Never.  I could have babies until the end of time.  I love them just like my mother does.  The blood runs in my veins. 

But I've also come to accept that unless I step into a huge sum of money, or plant a money tree in the yard (I've asked Santa every year for one - what the bleep Santa?), there will be no more babies for me.

Oh, and Hubby has officially drawn the line.  That man is ready for a dinner in a restaurant without a high chair or a booster seat.  Scratch that.  He is ready to eat a real dinner period.

I guess I can't blame him.

I'm fairly certain my "the more the merrier" baby mentality is unique, but I tend to live first and worry about the logic later.  Every family is different.  Some have one child, or two.  Some have seven.  Some have none.  Every family has their own reasons.  Some have struggles, some love their careers, and some just prefer to sleep at night and retire early.

Everyone has a different story.  And everyone does what works for them.

As for me, I love babies.  Always have, always will.  I come from a long line of baby and big family lovers.  I had four munchkins because I wanted a big family.  Hubby was pretty content with two and I'm sure he looks around and wonders what the heck happened. 

I call it life.  And it's pretty grand.