The Fifty Shades of Grey

 

A few weeks ago, I heard about the book The Fifty Shades of Grey.  Mommy friends informed me that it existed, and insisted I read it.  They whispered and we giggled and we discussed the hoopla surrounding the book.  They told me women are embarrassed to be seen buying it, but everyone is reading it.  Women are ordering copies online and downloading it onto their reading tablets.

I finally asked what the heck this book is even about?

"It's Twilight, but for adults..."

Ah.

And so I told other mommy friends about it.  And told them they had to read it because I've heard it is pretty amazing.  Amazingly dirty.  And erotic.  And shocking.  Several of my friends have tablets, and so they downloaded it.

And they read it.  Fast.

I do not have a tablet.  I drove around, hopelessly looking for a paperback version of The Fifty Shades of Grey.  I was not at all embarrassed to ask for the book.  I'm a mommy.  I clean poop and wipe runny noses all day, I need this dammit!

Embarrassment is a thing of the past.  I asked everyone in every store.  I wanted to read whatever this book had everyone smirking about. 

I can confirm that it is nearly impossible to find this book in any store.  The Fifty Shades of Grey has officially swept New York State and moms everywhere are gasping and giggling as they turn each page.

I wasn't one of these moms...until Friday.  One of my friends who has a tablet insisted I borrow it for the weekend.  She lovingly loaned me her tablet, assuring me I was in for a wild ride.

Since I flicked that first page I have completely ignored that my family needs clean clothes. And food.  I have slept eight hours this entire weekend and left my tips at work Friday night because I rushed home to read the Nook.

I'm groggy, exhausted, behind on my laundry and completely in awe of this man.  And this woman.  And I feel as though I'm back in high school sex education with Mr.S every time I start a new chapter.

How much could possibly exist that I never even knew was possible?  Apparently, a lot.

And holy heck is this book somethin' else.

I have ten pages left, and I have already purchased the next book in the series, Fifty Shades Darker.  I will read the last two books like I'm back in 1990, page turning style.  Unless of course the Nook or Kindle Fairy drops a package on my doorstep.

And when I finish the series I will get to cleaning the 50 Shades of Dirt that is my kitchen floor.

Ladies, happy reading.  Brace yourselves.